I have been planning a grief event with my wonderful friend Davey and throughout the last few weeks, as we have been getting things together, we have talked so often about signs from Robbie. It still amazes me how he shows up for so many of us, when we need, when we don’t, just because….I love that randomly I will get messages from his ppl sharing something that happened for them. Davey asked me this morning if I kept a journal of all of my signs from Rob and I haven’t, but I probably should have because I know that there are things I will never remember. Signs started showing up for me immediately, I can still remember it like yesterday…it was Saturday, 6 days after Rob’s accident and I was trying to find the truck keys to get to his celebration of life. I could not find them anywhere and I was practically losing my shit. I was in the house, out of the house, upstairs, downstairs, in the laundry, nothing, no keys anywhere. Of course, there was no spare and we needed the truck so we could pick up Rob’s dirt bike….we couldn’t celebrate Rob without his bike, for goodness' sake we were headed to the motocross track for the celebration! On my last trip back into the house from the truck it was raining, it was just nasty, and I happened to look up to see one full rainbow and above it two ends of a rainbow. Clear as can be in a little Robbie voice I heard “Hey ma, look at what I can do” and the rainbow that was two ends became whole. And just as quickly as the rainbow became whole it was gone. I was at the exact place I needed to be at the exact moment for me to see what I needed. I stopped crying, walked into the house, and the keys were found. In that moment of insane stress, anxiety, and pure heartache, he showed up, he was there, I have no doubts.
This morning as Davey responded to a message that I sent at the crack of dawn, his response came to me at 9:22, Rob’s bday. The messages were about the live Facebook we were doing today, what is so ironic about that is that just a short time ago I would have been mortified to be on a live video, I don’t know why looking back but I would have avoided it at all cost. Today, while there are moments that I am like ooh can I do this, I do it scared or anxious or whatever I am at that moment. And Rob shows up to support the journey. He has been really present the last few weeks as we have embarked on this path, I can’t tell you how many times the song Don’t Stop Believin’ has played for me, that is what Rob sends me when I have any doubts. One day, it played 4 times, each time I laughed a little harder and was sure to thank Rob for always showing up. Maybe last week or so Tim and I were walking in the woods and we saw maybe 5 cardinals, none that I could ever get a picture of, which completely frustrated me. But, last Saturday while I was in the woods by myself I veered off the main path into a little trail down the woods and I saw a big, very red cardinal, and I got his picture! If I am honest, there was some jumping up and down and celebrating bc I had snagged the pic. Thankfully, there was not anyone else to witness that part.
One of the other very significant signs for me was months ago, I was awoken at 4:44 am by Robbie saying “Mom”. I laid in bed thinking 444 is not a number I see, so I look it up and I find – The 444 angel number is one of the most powerful messages your guardian angels can send you. And the number 444 can be a powerful message – for some people, even a sign from heaven – to let you know that there are angels around you, watching over you, guiding your path, and protecting your thoughts.
I am beyond grateful that I am able to experience each and every one of these signs and all of the other small things that show up daily. Some days they make me laugh, some days they make me smile, some days they make me cry, but every day they allow me to still feel his presence and for that, I am absolutely frigging grateful!
Comments