My writing has been pretty dormant for the last year, due a lot to us moving and me taking on a new job. What has my grief looked like in that time, a little the same, a little different? I can’t believe that it has been over 2 years since Rob’s accident, it doesn’t seem possible, at the same time, it feels like decades ago.
In December, I spoke at an event that allowed me to talk about my experience, what this has been like for me, how I choose to process and work through what I have been faced with. I cannot tell you how many times in the last year I have said I am thankful that I was blessed to have Robbie for the 17 years I did. I still think of things he did or we did that make me laugh hysterically. I have a video of him in Walmart jumping off the top of a ball pit into it and him then running for the doors so he didn’t get caught. Appropriate? Probably not. Harmless? Most likely. In true Rob fashion? Abso-freaking-lutely!
I forget where I left off the last time I wrote so let me attempt to recap some things….if you have read anything that I have written you know that I always choose to stay in a place of positivity. That is not always easy and I don’t want to ever make it seem like it is BUT is my intention and I live by it. Because I believe in still living, we have taken on some pretty amazing things, we built a new home, moved almost 200 miles from where we are from, and I took a new job (actually 2 or 3).
I just realized that this writing is going to have to happen over a few days because I have so many things that I want to write about.
In early 2022 I began teaching adjunct classes at a local college, part of me did this because I was looking for the next thing to add to my resume, part of me did it because it was something that I would have been scared to death of 10 years ago and my passion for growth outweighs my fear, and part of me did it because I knew that at some point I would stand in front of a live audience with people who needed to hear my story and this would help me prepare for that!
I also knew there were some other things I could do to help me be ready to take that on, like attending a grief group. If you have ever sat in a space with people who have experienced epic loss you know that there are not words to express how intense the emotions and energy are in that room. I think I was the last one to share who I had lost and if I am totally honest, I wasn’t sure I would get the words out because of how emotional it was. But I did it, and what a powerful experience it was to sit with those people and hear them speak of their experiences and see their perspective on loss. If you have it in you to attend a Grief Group, I think you should give it a try, it was something that I truly am thankful for.
To be continued…
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